Want a White Stripes Reunion? Over Jack White’s Bankrupt Body
Unless he's possessed by a demon and forced to buy 7 yachts and never make another record, Jack White won't ever get the duo back together
In seriously sad news for the world (and, probably, Meg White), Jack White has said, a year after the White Stripes’ official split, that the duo has zero chances of reuniting. In the most recent issue of NME, White proclaims there’s “absolutely no chance” of a reformation. He also explained that it took so long to release the breakup announcement because he “wanted Meg to come to a decision with [him] and officially put an end to it,” and that he needed the White Stripes to be officially over before embarking on a solo tour to avoid “the dumb perception battle of people who couldn’t be broad-minded enough to understand the difference between Jack White and the White Stripes.”
But wait! There’s a caveat to his shut-down! “If we were forced to change our mind [on reforming], I can only imagine the reason being if we went bankrupt or really needed the cash,” he said, “which would be a really sad thing. I would probably be issuing an apology along with the announcement of the show dates.” So listen up, fans: if you really want this, just pray that, all of a sudden Jack White gets really frivolous with his money and buys a yacht or two, or mysteriously loses all his talent in a Space Jammy twist of events and fails to sell another record.
That said, despite the world mourning the White Stripes reunion tour it will (probably) never have, White did have a point — a point that likely won’t resonate with all these other acts that’ve been getting back together recently. “I’m not the kind of person that would retire from baseball and come out of retirement the next year,” he reasoned. “I mean, if we went to all the trouble of telling people we’re done, we meant it, you know?” So, if we can’t get more White Stripes, at least the White Stripes aren’t liars? Oh well, at least we weren’t expecting much from them, anyway.
In the meantime, White wants you to keep your eyes on the prize at hand: his solo record, Blunderbuss, which drops April 24 via Third Man/Columbia. Listen to the first single, first B-side, and second single, and catch him on tour with Alabama Shakes this summer. He did, after all, play our favorite set at SXSW 2012.