First! Worst New Music recipients the Civil Wars have been rewarded for their shitty effort! So what if the pair's second album, The Civil Wars, is a study in all-too polite Americana that's "terrified of country & western's hokum, avoiding the bloody handprints of Appalachian balladry, and apparently embarrassed by blue-collar specifics." And then there's that whole suspect bit about Joy Williams and John Paul White not being on speaking terms right now due to "internal discord and irreconcilable differences of ambition." Something tells us the pair will miraculously make up sometime in the very near future now that they've debuted with a firm 116,000 in sales. But hey, at least they kept the unholy Now 47 compilation from taking the throne.
2 to 10: Yep, that steaming pop pile is No. 2 with 91K copies sold, confirming every stereotype about lazy American consumerism there ever was. Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines (album edition) is sadly pushed down to No. 3 in its second week, moving 65K units. Jay Z's dad-rap opus Magna Carta Holy Grail takes a small step back to No. 4 (48K) while the Teen Beach Movie soundtrack rises a slot to nuzzle it from the No. 5 position (38K). English metalcore monkeys Asking Alexandria are in at No. 6 with From Death to Destiny (38K). And it turns out we were wise to save our champagne when Imagine Dragons finally left the Top 10 last week — thanks to a well-timed iTunes price-slashing, Night Visions is back in at No. 7 (37K). Five Foot Dog Paunch hangs on at No. 8 with The Wrong Side of Heaven and the Righteous Side of Hell, Volume 1 (35K). Gospel man Tye Tribbett debuts at No. 9 with Greater Than (30K). Florida Georgia Line are still with us (Here's to the Good Times, 26K, No. 10).
Yeezus Piece: Kanye West's masterful new mindfuck has at last reached gold status. It's been a hard-fought climb for Yeezus, which debuted at No. 1 with a fairly buff 327K, then fell off hard, getting trounced by Wale, J. Cole, and Jay Z on its way out the door. It is, sadly, West's lowest and slowest selling platter to date. Still, nothing a few punctual croissants can't fix.
Blown Lines: Robin Thicke has blasted through yet another chart record with his unbeatable "Blurred Lines." (What, you thought that was a Miley Cyrus reference in the header?) While the song sits pretty for a 10th week atop the Hot 100 and Digital Songs charts, it's also racked up an never-before-seen honor: topping five separate radio lists at once. Those would be the Top 40, Rhythm, Urban, Hot Adult Contemporary, and Urban Adult Contemporary, natch.