Steven Tyler has become one of the 234,000 people who visit emergency rooms as a result of falling in the bathroom. The 63-year-old Aerosmith frontman and human dream catcher was preparing for a show in Paraguay last night when he collapsed in his hotel restroom, smashing his face forcefully enough to knock out his two front teeth. Tyler's manager told TMZ the injuries were "minor" and the result of dehydration brought on by food poisoning, but they still necessitated a trip to the ER for stitches and dental surgery.
Tyler will likely issue a more colorful statement in the coming days, so stay tuned to this story. When he twirled himself off a Sturgis, South Dakota stage in August 2009, the heavily scarfed frontman waited a week, then proclaimed, "I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged ... AND I slipped, and as I live on the edge ... I fell off the edge!" That slip, which was captured in amateur video (see below) resulted in a broken shoulder, a dispute that nearly splintered the band, and Tyler's eventual return to rehab for addiction to pain medication.
We should also note the YouTube video of Tyler's fall has 2.8 million views, while the official clip for his ridiculous solo single "(It) Feels So Good" has 1.8 million hits. Our advice: Listen to the market research, Steven, find some security cam footage from last night, and find a way to monetize your continued disagreement with gravity.