Oasis

Noel Gallagher appreciates your business, but he'd like you to know that the current wait time for a new Oasis album is approximately five years.

"By the time we make another record we'll be five years older," he told Q Magazine.

Why the wait? Well, the Britpop frontman seems keener than ever to follow through on his solo album plans. Plus, he's lacking motivation to write new Oasis material.

"Even before the end of making each Oasis album, I've always started writing the next one, and I haven't this time," he said. "I don't 
want to force it."

Which is not to say that he's lacking tunes. "I've got a lot of songs lying around and some of them are really great," he said. "But they're not Oasis songs. They're going to sit there and do nothing, so hopefully at the end of this tour I'm going to go and do something for myself."

Noel's brother, Oasis singer Liam, might also have something to do with the musical selfishness, as their notoriously contentious relationship shows no signs of easing. Noel gives us an idea of the family dynamic: "He's never seen my little lad [son], just pictures," he said. "To a stranger it sounds ludicrous, but you wouldn't have him in the house if he spoke to you the way he speaks to me and my family."

And what sort of sweet words does Noel use to describe his bro? "He's rude, arrogant, intimidating, and lazy. He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup."