SPIN had a ridiculous time at Metallica's weird, whimsical Orion Music + More Festival, having to manage absolutely insane set conflicts like choosing between Modest Mouse and Suicidal Tendencies (spoiler: the five-song Infectious Grooves mini-set with Robert Trujillo truly had us Floating On).
Lucky for all of us, a recent conference call to drummer Lars Ulrich about headlining Outside Lands yielded hope for a follow up run. "We had a great experience in New Jersey," said Ulrich, "and as we look to 2013, we're definitely looking to keep it in New Jersey or to keep it on the East Coast." All of which leads us to ask the important question: So who the hell is left to play this weird thing?
We isolated the trends in Metallica's taste, and made our best guesses. Start reserving your hotel now, because our imaginary festival is gonna kick ass!
Metallica-approved style: Internet-famous, critically acclaimed indie-rock bands that had their moment approximately 12 to 24 months earlier
Orion 2012 bands: Best Coast, Fucked Up, A Place to Bury Strangers
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: Cloud Nothings, Wild Flag, Iceage, Ceremony, DIIV
Metallica-approved style: Springsteen-y bands that play a lot of festivals
Orion 2012 bands: Gaslight Anthem, Eric Church, Lucero, Titus Andronicus
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: My Morning Jacket, Against Me!, JEFF the Brotherhood, Japandroids
Metallica-approved style: Stoned-to-the-booooone psych-rock
Orion 2012 bands: The Black Angels, Wooden Shjips, Roky Erikson
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: White Hills, Om, Ghost (the Japanese one), Oneida, Acid Mother's Temple
Metallica-approved style: Hipster-approved, pop-leaning contemporary art-metal
Orion 2012 bands: Baroness, Torche, Ghost, Black Tusk, Red Fang
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: Kylesa, Royal Thunder, Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats, Rising
Metallica-approved style: Still-active contemporaries and friends who didn't end up nearly as famous as Metallica
Orion 2012 bands: Suicidal Tendancies, Sepultura
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: Slayer, Anthrax, Testament, Anvil
Metallica-approved style: Sublimely unfunny person who is famous for inexplicable reason
Orion 2012 bands: Jim Breuer
Bands that could fit the bill in Orion 2013: Daniel Tosh