Melvins Attempt Guinness World Record: Play 51 Dates in All 50 States

Fuck you, Jack White!

The Melvins / Photo by Jessi Rose
The Melvins / Photo by Jessi Rose

Fresh off releasing their 21st studio album, Freak Puke, today; the mighty sludgemasters in the Melvins are taking their streak of restlessness to ridiculous extremes. In their "Melvins Lite" trio line-up featuring nimble Bungle bassist Trevor Dunn, the band is going to attempt to hit all 50 states (and D.C.!) in 51 days, hoping to break the Guinness World Record for "Fastest Tour of the United States." Says leader King Buzzo in a statement, "We figured it was time for us to do something really crazy... Jeez! I wonder if we can do it?"

This news comes fresh of the news that blues belter and renown quitter Jack White has balked on his world record attempt to use the most metaphors in a concert. Flaming Lips may do the Melvins one better with their attempt to play the most concerts in one hour. And rapper Kitty Pryde is working on official certification for her attempt for shortest time between viral sensation and total obscurity.

Tour dates below:
September 5 - Anchorage, AK @ Bear Tooth Theatre and Pub
September 6 - Seattle, WA @ Showbox at The Market
September 7 - Oregon @ TBA
September 8 - Boise, ID @ Neurolux Lounge
September 9 - Missoula, MT @ Top Hat Lounge
September 10 - Salt Lake City, UT @ Club Sound
September 11 - Casper, WY @ TBA
September 12 - Denver, CO @ Bluebird Theatre
September 13 - Lawrence, KS @ The Bottleneck
September 14 - Columbia, MO @ The Blue Note
September 15 - Omaha, NE @ The Waiting Room
September 16 - Des Moines, IA @ House of Bricks
September 17 - Sioux Falls, SD @ The Vault
September 18 - Fargo, ND @ The Aquarium
September 19 - Minneapolis, MN @ Grumpy's
September 20 - Madison, WI @ High Noon Saloon
September 21 - Chicago, IL @ Double Door
September 22 - Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue Theatre
September 23 - Louisville, KY @ The Vernon Club
September 24 - Detroit, MI @ Smalls
September 25 - Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop
September 26 - Morgantown, WV @ 123 Pleasant Street
September 27 - Jermyn, PA @ Eleanor Rigby's
September 28 - South Burlington, VT @ Higher Ground
September 29 - Dover, NH @ Dover Brickhouse
September 30 - Portland, ME @ Asylum
October 1 - Boston, MA @ Paradise Rock Club
October 2 - Pawtucket, RI @ The Met Cafe
October 3 - New Haven, CT @ Toad's Place
October 4 - Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
October 5 - Hoboken, NJ @ Maxwell's
October 6 - Wilmington, DE @ Mojo 13
October 7 - Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar
October 8 - Washington, DC @ Black Cat
October 9 - Charlottesville, VA @ Jefferson Theatre
October 10 - Carrboro, NC @ Cat's Cradle
October 11 - Knoxville, TN @ The Square Room
October 12 - Greenville, SC @ The Handle Bar
October 13 - Athens, GA @ 40 Watt Club
October 14 - Birmingham, AL @ Bottle Tree
October 15 - Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
October 16 - Jackson, MS @ Duling Hall
October 17 - Little Rock, AR @ Juanita's Cantina
October 18 - Baton Rouge, LA @ Spanish Moon
October 19 - Austin, TX @ Mohawk
October 20 - Norman, OK @ Opolis Production
October 21 - Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad
October 22 - Phoenix, AZ @ Crescent Ballroom
October 23 - Las Vegas, NV @ Artifice
October 24 - Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery
October 25 - Honolulu, HI @ The Republik

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