We're starting to suspect the person handling the verification process at Twitter may be screwing with us on purpose. First we learned the microblogging site bestowed a fake version of '00s band Hoobastank with the coveted blue check mark, and now it's come to light that a false version of Pavement frontman Stephen Malkmus has been deemed the real deal for over a year.
Caught by the folks at Buzzfeed, the fake account currently has 2,200 followers and is still verified! As if the tiled background image of crappy movie theater nachos wasn't enough of a tip-off as to the account's dubious authenticity, the impostor laughed in Twitter's face by tweeting, "twitter [sic] verified my account without me asking because they know i'm lazy." Whomever the faker is, s/he has gotten away with it since August 6, 2011, when s/he tweeted, "easy mac for breakfast, lunch, and."
Fun conspiracy theory-ish fact: A totally different fake Malkmus account tweeted, back in 2009, a weirdly prophetic spam message about hackers using his and Hoobastank's accounts "to show disgusting pictures." And there, people, is one more reason to believe that Twitter is the Matrix.
While we ponder that, enjoy some choice Fake Stephen Malkmus tweets below. They're no "Retreat inward, to the mancave of the mind," but they'll have to do for today's amusement. For the record, Malkmus' real tweeting goes down @malkmusandjicks, per the band's publicist.
making this easy mac al dente was a bad idea— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) February 17, 2012
one time in 1989, i was listening to "the classical" and i thought, "what if i just like slowed this shit down" and then i started a band— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) August 8, 2011
i mean, jesus could walk on water and shit, but could he make his voice sound like a perpetual yawn?— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) August 8, 2011
pavement vinyls are always cheap because i know you need money left over for weed and nachos— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) August 8, 2011
one time i crashed a PTA meeting for the free bagels— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) August 18, 2011
pretty sure only corporations like SOPA. i'm a musician and i don't give a shit about online piracy but then again i'm stephen malkmus— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) January 18, 2012
you're not allowed to like pavement if you pick pinto beans over black at chipotle— Stephen Malkmus (@StephenMalkmus1) March 26, 2012