INTERVIEWSThe Drugs Lists

Ten Songs You Shouldn't Put on Your Friend's Good-bye Mix CD If He's GoingOff to Rehab

• "Cigarettes & Alcohol" Oasis
• "Gin & Juice" Snoop Dogg
• "Sorted for E's & Wizz" Pulp
• "Who's Got the Crack" the Moldy Peaches
• "Heroin" the Velvet Underground
• "Purple Pills" D12
• "I'm Your Pusher" Ice-T
• "Drug Drug Druggy" Manic Street Preachers
• "My Drug Buddy" the Lemonheads
• "Let's Go Get Stoned" Ray Charles

The Five Most Coked-Up Songs Ever

• "Cocaine," Eric Clapton
• "White Horse," Laid Back
• "Lit Up," Buckcherry
• Every track on The Eagles' Hotel California
• Every track on Fleetwood Mac's Tusk

Ten Things Believed Only by Stoners

• The Black Crowes' Amorica is just an all-around stellar album.
• Kyuss was the most important band of the '90s.
• Valerie Bertinelli is so hot--and also so lucky.
• The Clash should have made even more reggae songs.
• Hendrix's "If 6 Was 9" is not only awesome, but also so true.
• Quadrophenia is completely biblical.
• The guitars on My Bloody Valentine's Loveless sound like whales having sex--and those whales are totally high.
• That kid from the Streets is like Dylan or Lennon or something.
• "The Man" is out to stomp on not only our buzz but also our right to download loosely executed songs featuring hand drums.
• The Chronic is the best hip-hop album of 2002.

Top Five Alcoholic Beverages You'll Find in a Rapper's Dressing Room

1. Alizé
2. Hennessy
3. Cristal
4. Grey Goose
5. Courvoisier

Top Five Alcoholic Beverages You'll Find in a Rocker's Dressing Room

• Smirnoff
• Jack Daniel's
• Budweiser
• Wild Turkey
• What the club gives you drink tickets for

Top Ten Reggae Songs About Kind Bud

• "Legalize It," Peter Tosh
  
• "One Draw," Rita Marley
• "Macka Splaff," Steel Pulse
• "Free Up the Weed," Lee Perry
• "African Herbsman," Bob Marley
• "Just a Little Herb," Aswad
• "Let Me Blow My Smoke," the Ethiopians
• "Ganja Smuggling," Eek-A-Mouse
• "Good Load of Herb," Sizzla
• "Legalize the Herb," Ninjaman

Things Ravers Do on Drugs

• Rave
• Explore K-holes, fall down, grab head in pain
• Blow through Vicks inhaler tubes into one another's eyeballs (don't ask)
• Wear big pants, grind teeth
• Liquid dance
• Exchange back rubs, go into cardiac arrest

Things Ravers Say on Drugs

• "I'm mad old-school."
  
• "I love you so much--Can I have another bump?"
• "Do you have a pen cap or a key I can borrow?"
• "Wow, Digweed doesn't sound like shit anymore!"
• "And I mean, it's like we're all linked together on the inside. Like we're bound together by this beat, and--oh shit--I gotta puke!"

Prescription Drugs Rock Stars Enjoy (Or, Six Things Found in Elvis' Stomach When He Died)

• Codeine
• Demerol
• Nembutal
• Morphine
• Quaaludes
• Valium

Most Poignant Eulogy Ever for a Drug-Related Death:
"Somebody was jumping up and down on his fuckin' knob in a hotel room in Las Vegas, charlie'd off his tits! Fuckin' respect, man!" --Noel Gallagher on late Who bassist John Entwistle, who died of a cocaine-related heartattack in 2002

Artists Who Have Used Heroin....And Later OD'd

• Kurt Cobain
  
• Sid Vicious
• Dee Dee Ramone
• Layne Staley
• John Frusciante
• Scott Weiland
• Brad Nowell (Sublime)
• Marianne Faithfull

Songs You Want to Hear in Relation to How Many Beers You've Had
1 beer: "Get the Party Started," Pink
2 beers: "Last Nite," the Strokes
3 beers: "Gin & Juice," Snoop Dogg
4 beers: "24 Hour Party People," Happy Mondays
5 beers: "Electric Avenue," Eddy Grant
v6 beers: "Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-A-Lot
7 beers: "Panama," Van Halen
8 beers: "Any Way You Want It," Journey
9 beers: "Piano Man," BillyJoel
10 beers: "Sweet Home Alabama," Lynyrd Skynyrd
11 beers: "Sweet Home Alabama," Lynyrd Skynyrd
12 beers: "Sweet Home Alabama," Lynyrd Skynyrd
13 beers: "Tuesday's Gone," Lynyrd Skynyrd
14 beers: "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive," Hank Williams

Five Anti-Heroin Songs That Unintentionally Romanticize Heroin

• "Bad," U2
  
• "The Needle and the Damage Done," Neil Young
  
• "Cold Turkey," John Lennon
  
• "Three Days," Jane's Addiction
  
• "Sister Morphine," Marianne Faithfull

Five Examples of Inventive Drug Use

• "Sippin' on Some Syrup," Three 6 Mafia (cough medicine)
• "Strap on That Jammy Pac," Ween (Scotchgard)
• "Canned Heat Blues," Tommy Johnson (Sterno)
• "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue," Ramones
  
• "Carbona Not Glue," older and wiser Ramones (cleaning fluid)

Albums You're Most Likely to Hear at a Laser Show

• II, Led Zeppelin
• IV, Led Zeppelin
• The Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
• Yessongs, Yes
• OK Computer, Radiohead
• 2112, Rush
• Quadrophenia, the Who
• Aqualung, Jethro Tull
• A Night at the Opera, Queen
• Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space, Spiritualized