Cattle Auctioneer Transformed Into a Fast-Rap Star

Rhett Parks is quick enough to wrangle beef with Busta Rhymes

Colin Joyce

If we're obsessing over rap stats these days it's only a matter of time before someone throws some graphs together ranking the world's fastest MCs. Frankly, though, it may not matter because cattle auctioneer Rhett Parks likely has 'em all beat by a lap or two. An enterprising Youtuber put a beat to the man's virtuosic bidding calls and the result is, well, at least as musical as the hyper-technical verbal scatting that comes with some of the Gathering of the Juggalos' lineup. Considering he's mostly merely rattling off numbers, he probably wouldn't have scored too well by that Rap Vocab barometer, but still, not bad for someone who was only accidentally rapping — which, icome to think of it might've been a good excuse for LL Cool J to try out following "Accidental Racist." Anyway, watch Parks in action above.

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