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Cat Power Expatriates to Begin New Nation Built on Three-Party System (or Something)

Cat Power Leaving America Rant Instagram Chan Marshall

Well, Cat Power’s Chan Marshall is leaving us, it seems. In a spirited new Instagram post — her preferred dispensation method for general batshitttery — the talented singer-songwriter announced that she’s leaving America until … well, someone’s fixed the damned thing. In addition, it seems she’s interested in starting a “new independent” run on a tri-party system, where Native Americans are allowed to vote (finally!) and everyone travels by underground railroad.

In truth, it’s rather difficult to parse out the exact meaning of Marshall’s all-caps rant. The writing was accompanied by a photo of Lady Liberty, and begins with the words, “Thank you for the hope in your symbolism. But I have to leave, America.” She then attempts to illustrate the conditions under which she’d consider an invitation to return, but they’re incredibly muddled and mostly vague. She definitely has beef with environmental destruction and mercenary armies.

But mostly, the message reads like a Michelle Shocked statement turned on its head crossed with the wacky inspirational fine print found on Dr. Bronner’s products. And though we left this part out, she ended by tagging 30-some people/entities of influence, ranging from NPR and The Ellen Show to Diplo and David Blaine. In a follow-up post, she implored that people ” REGRAM/RETWEET/POST/BLOG/SPEAK/BREATHE” the first one. So, deep breath:

“THANK YOU FOR THE HOPE IN YOUR SYMBOLISM. BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE, AMERICA. I WILL COME BACK TO LIVE, FOR YOU, LIBERTY, WHEN THOSE POWERS THAT BE, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN HEARING THE MAJORITY VOICE OF THE PEOPLES OF THE UNITED AMERICAN STATES AND FOR ALL WHOM CALL IT HOME, FOR EXACTLY THIS SYMBOLISM THE POWERS THAT BE, HAVE USED AS FALSE CURRENCY TO RAPE THIS EARTH WITH IT’S LIES, PROTECTION OF WEALTH, AND VICIOUS SLAYINGS & INHUMANE PRIVATE CONTRACTED MILITARIES WORLDWIDE FOR DOMINATION & COMPLETE INVALIDATION OF FREEDOM FOR WHICH THEY HAVE SO PERFECTLY STOLEN FROM ALL WHO STILL BELIEVE IN ALL THOSE SPEECHES WITHIN THE FABRIC CO-ALIGNING WITH OUR CONSTITUTION, SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE FIGHT TO KEEP FIGHTING…..ACROSS THE BOARD: TIME FOR AN NEW INDEPENDENT. I DEMAND A TRI PARTISAN. I DEMAND A NATIVE AMERICAN VOTE AND CHECK YOUR BLOOD LINE PEOPLE’S, THERE IS MORE THAN JUST MONEY IN THAT GENOCIDE, THERE IS A HISTORY OF WAR AND SUFFRAGE IN THAT LAND, AND UNDERGROUND RAILROAD HAS ALWAYS STUCK PERFECTLY AROUND. AND UNDER THERE, IS OUR GROUND. IT IS OUR LAND AND IF WE HAVE TO FIGHT FOR OUR LAND AND OUR VOICE TO BE HEARD, HOW DO YOU FIGHT WITH JUST A WORD IN TEXT, SPEAK IT. HE WHO WISH TO NOT HEAR IT, GO OUT & SPEAK IT TEN FOLD, THEY WHO WISH TO NOT HEAR IT, GO OUT & SPEAK HUNDRED FOLD, UNTIL MORE THAN 1BILLION PEOPLE GET YOUR MESSAGE OF SOLIDARITY, TRI PARTISAN. TAKING THE GREEN INDEPENDENT MORE SERIOUSLY THAN EVER THOUGH POSSIBLE IN A WORLD OF TWITTER @twitter OF INSTAGRAM @instagram OF FACEBOOK @facebook OF YOUR MAKING CONVERSATION WITH STRANGERS IN AFFINITY.”

Our advice about Lollapalooza is looking pretty sweet right about now, isn’t it?