First! Taylor Swift's record-smashing Red climbs back to the top to rack up a fourth (non-consecutive) week at No. 1 on the Billboard 200. She sold 167,000 copies of her fourth album last week, according to Nielsen SoundScan. We'd like to believe that about, oh, I dunno, maybe 55 percent of that came from SPIN giving Red the No. 38 slot on our Best Albums of 2013 list. Figuring in the No. 1 time logged by her two previous albums, TaySwif has now sat atop the big 10 for a total of 21 weeks. That means that in the 21 years that Nielsen has been keeping track of such things, she's only been bested on that count by three people: Garth Brooks (54 weeks), Eminem (29 weeks) and Adele (24 weeks for 21 alone). She is currently tied for fourth with Whitney Houston and Jay-Z. Insert "O" face here. (Also, Lotto lucksmiths, "21" and "4" are looking good right now.)
2 to 10: Your boy (def. 2) Wiz Khalifa came in at No. 2 with his album full of "soulless, defensive, stoner babble-rap" O.N.I.F.C. (141K). Haters can rejoice in knowing that his debut digits dropped a full 50K since 2011's Rolling Papers — maybe the difference comprised Odd Future fans thinking they were purchasing the very solid Domo Genesis album of the same name. Speaking of the Wolf Gang ... oh, wait, wrong lede. Speaking of things we're loathe to write about: No. 3 again goes to Rod Stewart (Merry Christmas, Baby, 127K), No. 4 again goes to One Direction (Take Me Home, 107K), No. 5 belongs to Michael Buble (Christmas, 106K), No. 8 belongs to Blake Shelton (Cheers, it's Christmas, 68K), No. 9 to Phillip Phillips (The World From the Side of the Moon, 65K), and No. 10 to Florida Georgia Line (Here's to the Good Times, 63K). Last week's chart queen Alicia Keys slipped down to No. 7 with a measly 77K moved of Girl on Fire. Meanwhile, Ke$ha bested her with her likable but kinda disappointing sophomore LP Warrior (No. 6, 85K).
Yes, Virginia: At last, proof that that benevolent big guy in the sky (the one that rides the sleigh) exists. Mariah Carey's totally great 1994 entry to the holiday canon, "All I Want for Christmas Is You," has re-entered the Hot 100 at No. 29. That's the song's highest placement yet, and it comes thanks to two things. First, the boring reason: 2012 marks the first year that titles from any era can rank on the list, so long as they're buff enough to make the top 50. Now, the awesome reason: Carey's totes adorbs video performance of the song with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots, which has earned over seven million views thus far. Go humanity!
Heaven, Unlocked: Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven" at last hit No. 1 after 10 weeks on the Hot 100, pushing Rihanna's "Diamonds" aside after its sparkly three-week reign. While that doesn't seem remarkable on the surface, this is the Hawaiian crooner's fourth No. 1 in less than three years (two years, 10 months, and one week, to be exact), which makes him the fastest male musician to clock that many top songs in 48 years to the day. The last to get there more quickly was Bobby Vinton with "Mr. Lonely" on December 12, 1964.