50 Cent's Lonely Empire

William Goodman

The spoils of the hip-hop game have befallen 50 Cent, a.k.a.Curtis Jackson, on galactic levels. Turning a handful of hit albums andsingles, loads of thug cred, and a vitamin water and clothingenterprise into cash money success, Fiddy purchased his fantasy digs in2003 for $4.1 million: Mike Tyson's former 19-bedroom, um, 35-bath(why?) compound on 17 acres in Farmington, Connecticut. But now, itappears, loneliness has gotten the best of ol' Jackson, as he revealedhis sterile, remote, and hotel-esque "kingdom" to MTV's Cribs last night (Nov. 29) in a bid to find a buyer -- all you need is a cool $18 million.

Througha security checkpoint and large ornate gate, G-Unit member Tony Yayorolls onto the driveway. He's met by Fiddy, sporting a black robe withhis namesake digits, and the tour begins. The sullen faced rapper thenillustrates his inability to make a house and home, showing off anornate table he had "flown in," yet states, "we ain't never ate at..."with a heartrending chuckle. An $80,000 dollar chandelier hangs above.

Next,a few personalized household items -- oddly, an Egyptian vase with animprint of his face, high quality stereo equipment, a shrine-likeoffice, and a vacant kitchen larger than a luxury Manhattan condo. Thefridge, naturally, is packed full of -- you guessed it -- vitamin water.

Withguest rooms for his G-Unit pals -- Yayo, Lloyd Banks, and DJ Whoo Kid-- 50 Cent's home is absurdly large -- literally, one could get lost.And from wing to wing, the perks are endless; an elevator, living roomwith sweeping views in which one would, "you know, maybe readsomethin'," a theatre featuring "technology that can move stuff" (read:his reclining chair), a recording studio, a gaudy Gucci-clad room andpool table, and a master bedroom featuring different closets to househis awards, hats, and massive, colored-coded collection of shoes. Dudeeven has a revolving flat screen TV. Downstairs resides a basketballcourt, indoor pool, dance floor, and stripping pole area (duh) for"adult entertainment," his personal addition.

But onceoutside, all the spoils disappear as Fiddy confides in his onlyfull-time companions: the fish living in the backyard's massive pond.Imagine the late night, one-sided confessionals.

Swirling thelush grounds in a golf cart and four-wheeler, Fiddy finally flaunts thereal deal -- the rides. An impressive collection of three Ferraris, andmore, one of which he named 'Curtis,' seldom drives, and uses only forconversation: "I get around rich friends, they say 'I got a FerrariF-50,' and I say 'me too.'"

Fantastic digs, yes, but unlessyou're an enterprising polygamist, cult leader, or psychopathic recluselooking for a mean game of hide-and-seek, this place is far too big.Fiddy now knows it and that's why he's ridding of his ultimatefinancial exhibition -- just like the brief tenure's of owners past.Nine bullets couldn't derail his grandeur dreams of success, butsolitude certainly can. Awww...

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