Weezer can be counted on for a variety of things: Undeniably catchy choruses with gnomically nonsensical lyrics, disappointing post-2001 albums that exclude superior songs you'll eventually find on B-side collections, and somewhat amusing photos of a teenaged Rivers Cuomo sporting Aquanet metal hair.
Now, with the announcement of the band's seventh album, Raditude, set for release October 27 on Geffen, we can add to that list pointlessly goofy, sadly banal, bad-pun album titles.
So, inspired by Weezer's example, and in tribute to REO Speedwagon's immortal You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish, SPIN presents the Top 20 Worst Album Titles of 2009.
1. Weezer - Raditude
We preferred the rumored second choice: Radatouille
2. Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen
Shouldn't this sort of thing be dad's department?
3. Mew - No More Stories Are Told Today I'm Sorry They Washed Away No More Stores the World Is Grey I'm Tired Let's Wash Away
"Tired" being the operative word.
4. Cobra Starship - Hot Mess
Because Hot Tranny Mess was too cutting edge?
5. DJ Food - One Man's Weird Is Another Man's World
And one man's CD is another man's coaster.
6. Peaches - I Feel the Cream
Keep it in your hot pants, Merrill, you're 42.
5. Millionaires - Just Got Paid, Let's Get Laid
A) You never had a real job; B) The whole underage sex shtick is way creepy.
6. Asher Roth - Asleep in the Bread Aisle
Alright, you're a stoned moron...what else ya got?
7. Tortoise - Beacons of Ancestorship
Their booty album, right?
8. Busta Rhymes - Back on My B.S.
When was he off it?
9. Jim Jones - Pray IV Reign
Play on (words), playa!
10. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest
Can the band members even pronounce this?
11. Fight Like Apes - You Filled His Head With Fluffy Clouds and Jolly Ranchers, What Did You Think Was Going to Happen?
Wow, somebody just went to their first rave, how cute!
12. Reel Big Fish - Fame Fortune & Fornication
13. Wallpaper - Doodoo Face
Featuring MC Poopy Pants.
14. Kristeenyoung - Music for Strippers, Hookers, and the Odd On-Looker
15. Willie Nelson - Naked Willie
Luckily the album cover wasn't literal.
16. DJ Vadim - U Can't Lurn Imaginashun
But we can spell idiotic.
17. Weird Owl - Ever the Silver Cord Be Loosed
Ever the lamely titled album be unheard.
18. Drowning Pool - Loudest Common Denominator
Couldn't somebody have just told them...oh, forget it.
19. The Juan MacLean - The Future Will Come
Thanks for the heads-up.
20. Hoobastank - For(N)ever
Our thoughts exactly.