“In Da Club” (Shady/Interscope) Since we’re all gonna get shot or suicide-bombed anyway, let’s throw a frickin’ birthday party! With pole dancing, Ecstasy, and Kevlar! Fiddy should pray five times a day to the West (a.k.a. Dr. Dre) for blessing him with a beat so irresistibly sultry.
2. EMINEM
"Lose Yourself" (Shady/Interscope) Screw the corny Aerosmith
sample on "Sing for the Moment" -- this tinkly, guitar-driven epic is
Em's defining yes-you-can power ballad. So packed with anticipation
you're on the edge of your seat for a half-dozen bars just to hear him
finish the damn "Mekhi Phifer" rhyme.
3. THE WHITE STRIPES
"Seven Nation Army" (V2) Scowling as he falls down the
celebrity rabbit hole, Jack White knocks off a tawdry guitar solo, then
threatens to move to Wichita. The day is saved by the year's best bass
line (that Timbaland had nothing to do with).
4. OUTKAST
"Hey Ya!" (LaFace/Arista) Unlike, say, Jack White, Andre 3000
feels totally liberated by parading around as the world's sexiest indie
rocker.
5. R. KELLY
"Ignition (Remix)" (Jive) Yes, he's a repugnant narcissist. No, this song's ridiculously tipsy groove cannot be denied.
6. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
"Cry Me a River" (Jive) I defer to The New Yorker's Alex
Ross, who called this the "most polyphonically complex teenybopper
ballad in history." And when Justin performs it live, he calls Britney
a bitch, too!
7. PANJABI MC
"Beware of the Boys (Mundian to Bach Ke)" (Sequence) This
exhilarating bhangra mash-up -- madly plucked tumbi, dhol drums,
Bollywood vocals, and Knight Rider sample (via Timbaland) -- is almost
ruined by Jay-Z's inane rap. Still, he gets props for making it a hit.
8. QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE
"No One Knows" (Interscope) Josh Homme's guitar riff circles
like a biker wielding a pool cue, but it's Dave Grohl's drums that
actually crack your knees.
9. NAS
"Made You Look" (Columbia) Despite Nas' admirably tortured
chatter about next-level musical consciousness, his best joint since
the '90s is a macho gunman boast over the classic "Apache" drum break.
10. THE STROKES
"12:51" (RCA) The slurred, insistent guitar and purred, distant
vocals capture that exact moment when your third cocktail kicks in. And
you're not embarrassed to slur along.
11. DIZZEE RASCAL
"I Luv U" (XL import) Drum'n'bass, U.K. garage, and
old-fashioned raw-dog hip-hop combust in this digitally demented
version of "It's a Man's Man's Man's World."
12. THE DONNAS
"Take It Off" (Atlantic) The sound of tentative pop-punk-metal
kids finally pulling off the stadium-rock rager of their dreams. The
chorus might as well be "We did it!"
13. WAYNE WONDER
"No Letting Go" (40/40/VP/Atlantic) Of all the songs on the hand-clapping Diwali beat (uh-oh, it's Lumidee again),
here's the keeper -- Wonder's heavenly tenor testifies with a subtle
vulnerability that'll make any frigid ex weepy in rush-hour traffic.
14. AFI
"The Leaving Song Pt. II" (DreamWorks) When it comes to
relentless, trembling, gut-churning anthems, these Golden State
warriors leave it all on the floor.
15. JOE BUDDEN
"Pump It Up" (Def Jam) Obsessively rewinding that Kool &
the Gang sample like a kid getting rowdy in his high chair, producer
Just Blaze made sure this song was so hot it didn't matter what
bullshit Budden spit.
16. THE DARKNESS
"Growing on Me" (Atlantic) The most emotionally fraught guitar solo ever in a rock song about a sexually transmitted disease.
17. ELECTRIC SIX
"Danger! High Voltage" (XL/Beggars) Detroit goombas in
semi-matching suits yell "fire" in a crowded Mexican-style chain
restaurant; sax-bomb mayhem ensues.
18. !!!
"Me and Giuliani Down by the Schoolyard (A True Story)" (Touch and Go) Punky bicoastal funk that actually focuses on the beat more than the noisy posturing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19. T. RAUMSCHMIERE
"Monstertruckdriver" (Novamute) With his buzzy,
happy-go-brain-dead "schaffel" (a.k.a. "shuffle") beat, Berlin DJ Marco
Haas brings the techno-punk pain.
20. BEYONCE FEATURING JAY-Z
"Crazy In Love" (Columbia) and
JANE'S ADDICTION
"Just Because" (Capitol) The former's syncopated Chi-Lites horn
flourish promised a hip-hop-savvy Diana Ross, and the latter's
sky-walking guitar promised ecstatic rock sleaze that never ages.
Ultimately, they delivered the year's two best intros.
