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Watch John Mayer Explain His Years of Douchebaggery

The year 2010 was not kind to John Mayer. He more or less stirred up that era’s shit-storm himself, what with all that racist stuff and the other racist stuff, not to mention all the excitement of repeatedly spite-snuffing his Tumblr, tweeting his way through Father’s Day, and oversharing on his and Jessica Simpson’s time together in the media. On Monday, however, a still-grumpy-looking Mayer sat down with Ellen DeGeneres and attempted to explain — but not really apologize for — the years-long streak of asshattery, implying that, now that he lives in Montana, has adopted a Jack White–cum–Johnny Depp aesthetic via hat and goatee (for which he also did not apologize), and is promoting his newest, “most honest” record Born and Raised, he has (probably) put an end to the madness once and for all.

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“I lost my head for a little while. I did a couple really dumb interviews and it woke me up,” he explained of that magical time in the tabloids. “It was a very strange time and it sort of rocketed me into adulthood. It was a violent crash into being an adult….I lost touch and I didn’t want to ask for directions.” Following his vocal surgery, which forced him to cancel his 21-city tour earlier this year, Mayer says he “remembered how to get happy,” which absolutely showed in his stone-faced-killa delivery of the story of why he moved to Montana.